


Why did you choose to leave?

by TopHatQueen



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, future!fic, no toa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 00:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopHatQueen/pseuds/TopHatQueen
Summary: When the gods had offered their heroes immortality, Nico had declined.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a fic i posted on tumblr in march of this year! totally forgot to put it here

“Why did you choose to leave?”

The feelings of betrayal were clear in his voice.

“Did… did you not…”

He had been holding the tears back before, but now they were streaming down his face. They blurred his eyes and dripped off his cheeks, his nose beginning to run.

He gripped Nico’s hand, gently running a thumb over the aged hand’s knuckles.

His tears seemed to glitter in the soft golden glow that was faintly visible across the blond’s skin. The glow seemed to waver as he wept, flickering and fading in and out, much like a light bulb close to death.

Sometimes the glow shifted tint slightly, appearing to be closer to sky blue, a stormy grey, or more rarely a shade of very dark blue.

Jason wiped his nose on his free arm. Usually he would have thought that was gross, but it didn’t really matter to him. He’d found him after so many years. Too many years.

“Nico, please… I don’t understand…”

 

* * *

 

When the gods had offered their heroes immortality, Nico had declined.

Jason couldn’t understand. Why wouldn’t Nico come with him? What could possibly be the reason for his beloved to leave him like this?

“Jason, please. This is my decision.”

Nico had tried to reason with Jason. He could hear the words, but he couldn’t process them.

“What about us?”

Nico would never reply to that question. Jason had asked it, and other variations of it, many times.

Maybe if he had, things might have been different. Instead of Jason being left feeling lost and alone and empty, perhaps they might have been happy for the rest of eternity, like Jason had hoped- like they had both hoped.

No, things couldn’t possibly end well. That was not the way of the gods. There was a reason that demigod stories usually ended in the hero’s death. This would just be another one of those stories. Just another story to teach another moral. Who they were would likely be forgotten, and they would be remembered simply as two broken-hearted demigods, if even that.

 

* * *

 

“Why won’t you look at me?”

Jason stared at the other’s face. Nico wouldn’t even look at him, let alone speak to him.

“I loved you. I still do. The others keep trying to get me to move on, but I can’t… I can’t do it.”

Those dark eyes had met Jason’s blue ones for only a moment before turning away, refusing to turn back to him. They would not gaze at him as they once had, tracing the lines of his body and treasuring the loving look that Jason always gave him. Jason hadn’t even looked at Piper in the way he had looked at Nico. He had loved Piper, but not in the way he should. Not in a way that was possible in a relationship that had been founded on the lies of a goddess. False memories were not the way to love.

The memories that Jason and Nico had created were real, though.

Jason could see them now, in his mind’s eye.

The golden days, lit by the rays of morning sunlight shining through their bedroom window…

 

* * *

 

Jason would be lying with Nico hugged to his chest, the messy black hair sprawled across their pillows. It had gotten long after the war, and often Nico kept it up and out of his face. He was so handsome. Jason loved his every feature. The way that Nico’s eyes glittered when he smiled. The way that the sun illuminated his olive skin, making it seem to glow. He loved when Nico would glare at him and cross his arms, as his eyes always betrayed that he wasn’t really angry.

The memories that were once sweet had turned bitter and sad over the years. The many, many years.

Jason still treasured them, of course. There wasn’t a day that went by when Jason didn’t think of Nico, of their life together.

Or the life that they could of had. The life that could have been theirs, if Nico had just come with him… why wouldn’t he come with him? Why couldn’t they stay together? What had made Nico want to leave him? To leave all of their happy memories behind? What could possibly be the reason?

 

* * *

 

Jason had visited over the years, of course. Nothing could have kept him away.

Nothing except for the look that Nico gave him when he saw him. Nothing except for the way that Nico refused to look at him again. The way that Nico was doing now. He was refusing as he had for so many years. Only this time he couldn’t run away. He couldn’t avoid Jason by shadow traveling, or ducking away, or simply ignoring that Jason was there, speaking to him. There was no way to avoid him, now.

Nico hadn’t shifted his hand out of Jason’s grip, but Jason wondered if that was because he had given up on avoiding Jason for so many years, or if it was because he just didn’t care enough.

Jason examined the side of Nico’s face that he could see, his eyes pleading for something. They endlessly traced over the lines of age that now marked it, wishing that he could have been side by side with Nico, instead of watching Nico’s life from afar.

Jason finally couldn’t bear it anymore. He jerked his head away, looking anywhere but the familiar face that had grown to be so different. He released Nico’s hand and got up from his seat. He paced around the room, stuffing one hand in his pant pocket, and rubbing the back of his neck, in the way that he did when he was upset or stressed.

Why did Nico leave him? Why didn’t he choose to become immortal with Jason? To live out eternity with him? Jason had always thought that they would spend their lives with one another. Jason thought that that was what Nico wanted, too.

After a while Jason returned to Nico’s bedside. The tears still fell, leaving the rivers of hurt that traced down the curves of Jason’s face. He wiped one of his eyes with the palm of his hand before looking back to Nico.

This time, Nico met his eyes and didn’t look away.

Nico’s eyes were sad, but they had a coldness to them. That stung Jason. He should be used to that look by now. It was the one he saw every time that their eyes met.

For the first time since they parted that day, the day that the gods had offered them immortality, Nico spoke to Jason.

“Had you ever considered that it wasn’t me who left, Jason?”


End file.
